Schedule Summary

I’m wrapping up my scheduling posts today because, well, because I’m tired of writing them, and you’re probably tired of reading them. Here are my concluding thoughts: 1. The schedule has helped make sure certain things happen in the Reyes home that wouldn’t otherwise (okay, I’ll admit, brushing teeth was part of our schedule). 2. The schedule was interrupted, changed, and adjusted every single day. This is fine – no nervous twitches from me. 3. Although there has been more order in my home (primarily due to the fact that I am back on schedule) scheduling wasn’t a magic pill that solved all of my children’s discipline issues…or mine. 4. Having said number three, I am amazed at how much boredom plays a role in the arguing that takes place in our home, and the schedule has helped us here. I’m not on the smooth path to scheduling by any means. I want to say that this is a new habit for our family, but it is too early to make that conclusion. Maybe in a month I’ll update to say if I’m really still doing this or not. Thanks for the additional accountability. It was easier to stay on course knowing that I’d be blogging about it at some point! And thank you to anyone who prayed for me, the grace was evident and amazing. Not being one of those orderly, scheduly folks, I can easily attribute any ability to have a schedule to the grace of God alone.

Worship God Conference Anyone?

I was just wondering if any of the gals who read this are going to be at the Worship God conference. Wouldn't it be great to get together?

Honeymoon Over?

Well, let's just say that the kids weren't exactly thanking God for the schedule yesterday. In fact, several times I was met with complaining as I sought to keep us on track. The rain hasn't helped matters either. In the afternoons they are confined to the house as opposed to pool time or outside time. Though I'm often amazed at how long my kids can keep themselves entertained, this chunk of time just begs to tempt them to boredom (meaning bickering soon to follow). I asked my friend Kathy for any suggestions as to how to fill the time. She reminded me of my own centerpiece idea, doing a craft, writing notes or cards to great grandma who just arrived last week, etc. These are great ideas that I will try to implement. Today we went to my mom's to visit, then came home and made centerpieces for the dinner table out of clay (including a cake, bounty hunter, soccer goalie picture, and lego house with fan on the back). I guess it would have been unrealistic to expect my children to perfectly submit to the discipline of a schedule day after day, but even with the resistence I met today, I will say that they responded quickly to my explanation for why we were doing what we were doing. If you are beginning to schedule, or getting back on a schedule like I am - be encouraged that I still say the benefit is outweighing the challenge. Does anybody have ideas for easy crafts to do with my children? Pleeeeeeeaaaaaase leave them in my comment box, I beg you!

We Interrupt This Schedule...

Saturday, a group of men from the church came over to help build our deck. I am overwhelmed at the sacrificial servanthood these men and their wives who released them, displayed. The double blessing was that my boys were able to see biblical manhood in action, not just through daddy, but through a group of other men with skills daddy doesn’t have. How kind of God to provide the church to give more examples of what it means to be a humble servant leader. These guys were amazing with my boys. They let them participate and patiently taught them how to hammer, use cool tools, etc. This was not on our schedule, but it was on God’s schedule, and I am grateful for His provision of role models through a group of hard working, humble men. Thanks to any of the wives who might be reading this. You are my heroes as well. Releasing your husbands on their day off to build a deck is a huge sacrifice, and one I don’t take lightly. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You.

Schedule Day Four: Exhaustion

Friday's theme was definitely fatigue. It isn't that I'm doing anything all that difficult. But in order to keep the kids on a schedule, I have had to get more vigilent with my own schedule (back on track with rising early, getting the housework done as opposed to putting it off like I was before, etc.). So what I'm trying to determine now is if I have been overly ambitious on a few of our days, or if my body is just going through an adjustment period. I'll know more after next week. I was so grateful for the final article Carolyn wrote about scheduling. She quotes D.A. Carson

“So many Christians today identify themselves with some ‘single issue’ (a concept drawn from politics) other than the cross, other than the gospel. It is not that they deny the gospel. If pressed, they will emphatically endorse it. But their point of self-identification, the focus of their minds and hearts, what occupies their interest and energy is something else” (The Cross and Christian Ministry, p. 63).”

Sheduling, though it is proving to be a huge blessing, is not my "single issue", and I pray it doesn't become such. I hope that though I have spent time blogging about my adventures into schedule world, that I have not in any way made other moms feel badly if they aren't having a schedule, or feel discouraged because as they've implemented their schedule it hasn't gone as smoothly. Because I am just starting with the schedule, it is requiring a lot of mind-focus and energy, but I anticipate that as it becomes a part of the rhythm of our lives it will be less consuming. The other part of Carolyn's final exhortation that was helpful was that a schedule must be implemented humbly. I don't want to attempt this in my own feeble strength. I can see where in the beginning, I was acutely aware of my need for God's help to do this. Now, even in just a few days, I find myself praying less and less throughout the day for help and stamina. How kind of God to remind me through Carolyn's words, that pride is emerging in the form of self sufficiency, and it will lead to a fall. But grace is near as I humbly remain dependent on Him.

Schedule Day Three: Pool Time

On our schedule in the afternoon is a three hour block time to either run errands or go to our community pool, or do both. The pool is a challenge for me because while I'm there I'm tempted to be thinking about other things I could be doing right now that are more "productive". But I love watching my children enjoy the pool, and one benefit is that it is a block of time when they need little correction, and get along beautifully. Yesterday, however, I wanted to be more intentional about expressing gratitude for the luxury of having a pool in our community. I am grateful that my boys still want to show off for me. They say, "mom, watch this..." a hundred times, and I love it. I am grateful that my girl is really committed to being a good swimmer. I can't believe how hard she works to keep up with the brothers. I am really grateful that yesterday, I was able to meet other moms in the neighborhood. In the past weeks the ladies who were there seemed to be hiding in their magazines, I-pods, or naps, but yesterday there were two other twin moms there (one with 2 year olds looking very frazzled) and one with 12 year olds. There was a mom with three sons really close in age, like mine as well. So God provided many inroads for friendships with ladies who are regulars at the pool. Opportunities for the gospel will abound. So, what does this have to do with my schedule? If there was an area I was tempted to avoid doing, it was this whole pool time. And yet God in His kindness opened my eyes to see that this is about more than providing fun for my children, it is an opportunity to be out in the world among other mothers who may not yet have believed the glorious Gospel of grace. Even my desire to keep a schedule itself must be an outworking of the gospel in my life. By the Holy Spirit's work, I desire to reflect the image of God as a woman. The way I reflect His image is in being a helper to my husband. It helps him to have order in our home. The schedule is a way to keep things orderly and running smoothly. It all really does come back to the gospel. The gospel gives me a new heart that is free to serve others, primarily my husband. The schedule is simply a practical way for me to do this. And sharing the gospel with other women is to be part of my life as well...I just didn't realize how the two (schedule and evangelism) would meet - at the pool.

Schedule Day Two: Tweaking

The theme for today seemed to be that the schedule needs adjusting. For example, today I babysat my niece and nephew as I do every Wednesday. On the 2nd and 4th Wednesdays in the morning we go to playground playgroup. This is the 3rd Wednesday so the kids had a huge block of time that was unscheduled. They play so well together that it’s not a problem, but later in the day we skipped our silent reading because they were enjoying building a tent and making stores in the basement. If I had thought it through better, I could have used part of the morning play time for the reading. I also think I need to schedule in snack times. No sooner do I begin vacuuming a bedroom when one of the kids comes up asking for a snack. By the fourth interruption, I find myself impatient and angry. When they were little I scheduled mid morning snack and late afternoon snack, but once they became more independent and I could just say, “get a granola bar out of the cabinet,” I stopped scheduling them. This will be an adjustment for my boys in particular. One of them is so skinny I hate to not give him food every time he asks, but I’ll be sure the snack in the afternoon is a big one, and maybe make breakfast and lunch bigger as well. My husband was helpful when I was explaining to him that though I am getting things done on the schedule, I’m not always doing them at the times allotted. I think it’s important to stick to the times pretty strictly at first, in order to create a “rut” of habit for the wagon of childhood to roll smoothly in (thank you Charlotte Mason). He said the schedule is supposed to serve you, not you serve the schedule. So, I am still enjoying the schedule and being able to direct the kids as to what is next, but I am seeking wisdom for where to put a few things on days that don’t follow a normal routine, as well as being sure the daily routine stuff is in the right place at the right time. Well, I gotta go...6 minutes til bath/shower time begins. If they go to the pool, do I really have to give them a bath? I'm thinkin' chlorine pretty much takes care of it, don't you?

Schedule Day One: Unexpected Honeymoon Phase

I fully anticipated today would be our “baptism of fire” in getting into a routine. After all, school is over, and due to putting together a garage sale one week, and my back and shoulder pain the next (thanks to said garage sale) we just came off of two weeks of unlimited play time, more videos than usual, and lower standards for orderliness. Today, however, was not filled with complaints and resistance by the kids. In fact, I am happy to report that they were excited to have a special summer schedule. This never happens to me. I am the one who reads the article written by the mother extraordinaire, think to myself, “hey – that sounds great! I am going to do that!” And then, somewhere between that thought and the execution of that thought I find myself experiencing something so different from what was described in the innocent article. Perhaps it’s the cynic in me, and perhaps its past experience that makes me think of today as a sort of “honeymoon” period. I mean, really, in a brief discussion during dinner of things we were grateful for today one of my children actually said, “I’m grateful for our new schedule!” Okay, It’s only fair to admit that today’s schedule just happens to be the one day of the week that is particularly kid-centered. We went to a free movie at our local cinema, did the dollar menu with friends at McDonalds afterward, hit the pool, and finished the day with going to daddy’s softball game (at Beachmont Christian Camp –a.k.a. little boy heaven). This is an unusually “fun-filled” day, so of course they loved it. But still, they worked on their math facts, did their reading, and even helped with some of my housework. I think my experience tomorrow is going to give us all a better idea of what this whole scheduled life is like. But if it encourages any of you out there to jump in and try, I want you to know that the Girls are right, kids really do thrive on order and routine. What about me? The kids did great, but what about the Mom? Actually, all of my feelings were inclined toward getting some sense of order back in the home – so this helped. As I said before, my two anticipated weaknesses are that when I don’t feel like doing something on the schedule, it will be harder to implement. The area of legalism is also a concern. Today I believe I am truly considering it all grace that things went so well. There was, however, one point during the day when I sinned against one of my children (not schedule related), and detected that my heart felt less guilt than usual and deceitfully reminded me that “at least I have kept my schedule”. In a subtle way, I was using my good work as some sort of conscience anesthetic. I am grateful that the Holy Spirit immediately stopped me in my tracks and I was able to recognize the pride and legalism, confess it, and receive forgiveness. So I end this day full of gratitude for God’s kindness to me and my family in helping us be happy in following a schedule. I am grateful for so many fun things that happened today as well. And most of all I end this day aware that God receives all of the glory for any success we had. Until tomorrow….

A Brave Blog Week

When the Girls Talk, I listen. And the routine talk resonated with me because even before the first outstanding article Nicole wrote on the topic, I was beginning to see the need for the day to be better scheduled especially in light of school being over. I am going to do something brave this week. I am going to try to blog about my journey in implementing the Reyes Family Schedule. Why is this brave? Well, it’s brave because I’m determined to be honest about the process which for me and my children is going to be challenging. I decided to this for two reasons: first, for a bit of added accountability. My mom and a friend of mine named Kathy (extremely organized kind of gal) are my real life accountability partners here, but I can’t help but think that if I’m going to have to write a little something at the end of the day for my bloggin’ buddies to read there will be additional incentive to stick to the schedule. Second, I think it might help some others who are interested in the suggestion to schedule their children’s lives. Something about hearing another person trying, failing, and trying again helps. And third, I'm in need of a little inspiration for writing lately...this will provide plenty - perhaps more than you're willing to read :)! Mondays are my husband’s day off, so the schedule will begin tomorrow. I am making a few adjustments to it today, thanks to Kathy’s helpful questions. The primary challenges I anticipate encountering will be my “feelings”. If I don’t “feel” like doing the schedule, or if I don’t “feel” like tackling the potential discipline issues that will come up this first week, it will be hard for me to overcome those feelings or lack thereof and actually do what I planned. I also know my tendencies toward legalism and believe that I could turn this blessing of a schedule into a means for self-righteousness, or condemnation. This morning in Charles Spurgeon’s devotional, Morning and Evening, I was kindly reminded by God that the source for living a life that honors and glorifies Him is always the Holy Spirit. “Rich were the blessings of this day if all of us were filled with the Holy Ghost. The consequences of this sacred filling of the soul it would be impossible to overestimate. Life, comfort, light, purity, power, peace; and many other precious blessings are inseparable from the Spirit's benign presence. As sacred oil, He anoints the head of the believer, sets him apart to the priesthood of saints, and gives him grace to execute his office aright. As the only truly purifying water He cleanses us from the power of sin and sanctifies us unto holiness, working in us to will and to do of the Lord's good pleasure.” So today, as I prepare to put my schedule into practice, I pray that the Holy Spirit would “anoint” my head and give me the “grace to execute [my] office aright.” I pray I would be dependent on Him (not my ability to implement a schedule) for purifying, sanctifying, and working in me to will and to do His good pleasure.

Quotable Kiddos: Cleaning

We were walking by an arcade in the mall and Caleb saw a lady with a feather duster cleaning one of the games and he said with great enthusiasm, “look mom, a cleaning game!” The funny thing is that he thought I’d just love playing something like that. We were listening to a Sovereign Grace worship cd in the car and one of the vocalists does a worshipful embellishment singing, “He washes me clean” referring to Jesus. Maggie said after hearing the line, “He watches me clean?” I thought to myself, “well, yeah, that too.”

Training Little Ones

Kenneth Maresco recently did a short series on training younger children called Nourish, Instruct, Discipline. The MP3 files are now available here. I am certain, based on teaching he has done in the past on the topic as well as the brief summaries given on the married life blog, that this is going to be extremely helpful to all who listen and seek to apply. And by the way, if you don't have children yet, or you have big kids - I encourage you to listen as well so that you may come alongside others who are in this season.

Salt Scrub for Smooth Summer Skin

I have been a huge fan of skin-exfoliating salt scrubs for years now. They can be a bit pricey, so I was delighted when a friend of mine gave me a homemade salt scrub as a gift last year. I've been making my own ever since. It's really inexpensive and easy. Just in case you are not familiar with how to use a salt scrub, I'll give you the instructions for use before I give you the instructions for making it. Basically salt scrub is a moisturizing exfoliant. You use it all over your body (or just arms and legs if other skin is sensitive...definitely not face) in the shower, then rinse with water (or if you feel too oily, wash with soap afterward). Your skin will feel fantastic, I promise! Two things to remember, first, this isn't bath salt. You use it in the shower as a scrub. Use it before you shave, not after. That would sting like crazy. Used before hand will help give you a great shave. And if you're a self-tanning cream girl, the exfoliant is perfect to use before you slather that stuff on. 1. Find a suitable container. I use an empty container from a Bath & Body scrub I used before I started making my own. 2. Take Epsom salt (less than $2) and pour it in almost to the top. 3. Pour baby oil (less than $2) in with the espsom salt until the mixture looks like slushy snow. I add oil, mix, add oil, mix...until it's the slushy consistency I want it to be. (I use the end of an old toothbrush to mix) If you want, you can make this fancier like my friend and add color and fragrance. I have tried adding a bit of mineral oil in with the baby oil during the winter because my skin was so dry. I store the epsom salt and baby oil under the sink in my bathroom and use it whenever (I can make about 4 pots of scrub with one bag of salt, and one bottle of oil). Also, I stick to baby oil because the fragrance doesn't compete with my perfume. Enjoy!

Talk About Scheduling

I am so excited about this little series Girl Talk is doing on scheduling/routine. I don't know how I would have made it through the baby/toddler years without a rather detailed schedule. Interestingly, as the kids have grown older and are able to entertain themselves better, I have used scheduling outside of meals, school, and my beloved blanket time (which is erratic of late)rather less. After reading Nicole's post today, I am thinking about devising a "big kid" schedule. This is our first week off from schooling, and I already have that miserable aimless feeling - I think my kids do as well. For their sake, and my own I think a summer routine is in order! Thanks again to the ladies at Girl Talk.

The Israelites and I...

Ahhh, the Israelites. Just when I’m tempted to judge them for their chronic complaining, unbelief, and idolatry, I see my own face among the masses. Today I read Deuteronomy 11 where they are told to obey the command “to love the LORD your God, and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul” (vs. 13). They are told that obedience to this command will result in God’s provision in watering their land, keeping it fertile, as well as military protection and victory. They are warned about the curse that will result from idolatry and disobedience. Like the Israelites, I am commanded to love God and serve Him today. It might look a bit different in my 21st century home. It may look like unloading and loading a dishwasher, or reading the last two chapters of The Matchlock Gun to the boys. It might look like praying for my grandmother, or inviting a baseball mom to church on Sunday. How amazing that these ordinary little acts can be expressions of love for God and service to Him today. Like the Israelites, I am tempted to be deceived by the lure of idolatry. It is more dangerous than setting up a little golden something or other in the kitchen because these idols are invisible and harder to detect. I can be cleaning a room of my house and be serving the idol of “order” and “productivity”, all the while neglecting the children I’m called to train. I can serve the idol of “comfort” and “ease” when I choose to read blogs over reading The Matchlock Gun. Idolatry is always at the door of my heart. This makes obedience to the command to love and to serve the Lord with all my heart and my soul very difficult…impossible except for the fact that… Unlike the Israelites, I can obey. Because God so loved the world, that He gave Jesus, His son, to die on the cross for my sins, I can now obey the command to love and serve Him. It is because Jesus loved and served first that we can now love and serve Him. What better catalyst to obedience is there than pondering the obedience of the Savior? What better motivation to love than beholding what manner of love the Father has given unto us, that we should be called the sons of God! And what fuel for service surpasses considering the Son of Man not coming to be served, but to serve and give His life as a ransom for many. Yes, my face is in the crowd of Israelites listening to the command to love and serve the Lord. But my face is also turned to my Savior today as I seek to obey Him here in 21st century Abingdon, MD. It is by His obedience to the command to love and serve the Father perfectly that I have hope today to seek to do the same.

Another Blog to Add to the List

If you haven't discovered it yet, Gospel Driven Life is a blog written by Mark Lauterbach, a pastor from California. I especially appreciated this post from yesterday. Enjoy!

The Law and The Gospel

"Run, Laurie, Run!" the Law demands But gives us neither feet nor hands; Far better news the Gospel brings, It bids us fly, and gives us wings. -John Bunyan (as quoted by John Piper here)

Family Night With Little Guys

A pattern emerged when our children were younger. I would be with the kids all day. Jason would come home and play with them while I finished dinner. After dinner one of us would do baths while the other did some other thing, and then before we knew it - bedtime. It dawned on me one day how little time we all spent together during this season of our lives. It was like we were constantly giving each other a break due to the intensity of the season. So, before I give a few ideas about what to do with the little guys for family night, you must know that our family did these things more sporadically and spontaneously...not every week on a certain night. I would never want to portray myself as some sort of super-mama, when I know all too well that family night in the early years could range from chaotic to sanctifying for all involved. Therefore, it was inconsistent. A few ground rules: 1. Have reasonable expectations. Fun family night playing bingo or having a dippin' dinner is just around the corner, but with little ones you need to remember that their attention span is short, frustration level high, and capacity to just do stuff is limited. 2. Keep it short. A few ideas: 1. Family coloring. My kids just love it when Jason and I sit at the table and color with them. If they are still at the scribbling age, that's okay. We found that the boys liked the velvet poster things because it looked good no matter what the coloring abilities were. 2. For the brave: family playdough night. Same as family coloring, but with playdough. Just so you know, homemade playdough is much better because it doesn't break up into a million little crumbs (how do kids manage to make such a crumby mess with playdough, anyway?!) 3. Dippin' dinner variation: any meal on a picnic blanket watching a video is cool to little guys. It can be a happy meal, or pbj...if the entire family is sitting on a blanket calling it an indoor picnic, it will feel special.(even if your 2 yr. old can't sit still for five minutes :)). 4. A few fun games we played: Hide The Object: Make sure you have something (stuffed animal worked for us) for each child to find, then your older one won't keep winning. Make it really obvious so they don't get frustrated. You can do this fifty times and they won't get bored. Dance: Get out some funky dance music and dance with your kids. They'll love it. I explain our version (freeze dance) here. My kids love seeing us get down and boogie, though I assure you, it isn't a pretty sight. Simon Says without anything tricky. Just have them follow the orders. Sometimes just hopping on one foot can be a huge victory for the little ones. Bucking Bronco on daddy's back. I would count to see how long they could stay on Jason's back while he pretended to be the bucking bronco. Yes, everyone ends up hurt....but it's worth it. (Toughens up the boys! They beg for more.) The main thing is to just be together with your little guys. Even if you're doing something completely ordinary, just doing it together as a family, laughing and enjoying each other, is a culture you will build on. It seems obvious enough, but sometimes in the craziness of caring for their physical needs it is easy to really not spend a lot of time together as a family until they are older and more manageable. Even though it is different when they're toddlers and pre-schoolers, it is still so much fun...if you keep your expectations low, and time short! Hope that's helpful! Anybody else want to chime in?

Dippin' Dinners

Like most of my ideas for the kiddos, this is borrowed from a number of moms I know who do some variation of Dippin' Dinners. For family night sometimes we spread a picnic blanket (vinyl top) on the floor; put small bowls for the dippin' (ketchup, honey mustard, bar-b-que, and ranch dressing) in the middle of the blanket; arrange the various finger foods around the dips; give each person a paper plate, juice pouch, and napkins, napkins,& more napkins; put on a movie and voila! We have Dippin' Dinner! Our favorite menu includes the following: pizza bites, corn dog nuggets, chicken nuggets, baby carrots, cucumbers, and green peppers. I'm sure there is a healthier variation. My sister does fancier appetizers with her kids who are older. Also, if we weren't so messy, we'd play a game instead of watch a movie. At our season, we can't dip and do a game at the same time. Some time I want to do a dippin' dessert with marshmallowshmellows, and pound cake. What do you do for family night?

Two Tireds

Two men. Two boats. Two different kinds of tired. I have often considered these two men sleeping in boats when I come to the end of my day and find myself exhausted. We find Jonah asleep in the boat as he tries to run from God’s will for his life. “But Jonah had gone down into the inner part of the ship and had lain down and was fast asleep.” Jonah 1:5 I have been like Jonah, trying to take the socially acceptable “boat” away from what God has called me to in the home. Maybe it is the S.S. Blogger, or the S.S. Book, or the S.S. Target, or the S.S. Telephone. Maybe it simply laziness, or doing what I feel like doing as opposed to doing what needs to get done. Even though blogging, reading, shopping, and talking on the phone are as innocent as a boat ride in and of themselves, I know in my heart when I am using them to escape God’s will for my life. It is strangely fatiguing. In striking similarity and contrast we see Jesus asleep in a boat. “And behold, there arose a great storm on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by the waves; but he was asleep.” (Matt 8:24) He was tired for the opposite reason Jonah was asleep: He completely obeyed the will of His Father. I obviously can’t claim to be like Jesus here. But, by His grace, there are days when I am completely exhausted for very different reasons. I remember Douglas Wilson saying something to the effect that mothers of young children should feel tired each day, it means they’re doing their job right (does anybody have this quote?). Indeed, when I do my job (calling/ministry) over here, it is very tiring. There is nothing wrong with being really, really tired at the end of the day. It could be an indication that I am doing what God has called me to do. But when I come to the end of my day, what brings rest to my soul is the same regardless of my performance: Jesus perfectly obeyed the Father, and His perfect obedience has been accredited to me. It is in His righteousness that I go to bed each night…not my own. Ahhh, such peace and rest is found here. The One who could say to the raging seas, “peace, be still” has said these words to my heart on my best day, and my worst. The Prince of Glory, who had no need to ever sleep or slumber, humbled Himself to be clothed in human frailty and as we see here, feel exhausted. Astounding! Why would He do this? Jesus perfectly obeyed the Father in his life, and in His death on the cross in order to save us from our sins, and bring us to God to the praise of His glory alone. Now, because of His work on my behalf, I can climb into the boat of obedience today. And when I lay my head down tonight, hopefully exhausted in the right way, I will find my rest in His work, not my own.