Just Passing It On

With all of the rubbish you find on the world wide web, it is always nice to be able to pass on something that is helpful. I recently began using my laptop for my quiet time journal, and now Bible reading. I thought I would never give up my fancy journals and pens - but it is so much more practical to keep one place for everything. I can cut and paste verses and quotes into my to-do list (I think I got that idea from Carolyn Mahaney, but i'm not sure). Or if I'm e-mailing somebody, I can insert scripture more readily to encourage that individual. This year I am using D.A. Carson's For the Love of God companion book in order to read through the Bible in a year. I am loving this! He uses the M'Cheyenne schedule of reading. I found the ESV online has the M'Cheyenne readings here. I put it in my favorites and go there each morning. I never thought I would be able to read my Bible on a computer screen, but I've adjusted, and love being able to cut and paste sections of scripture into my journal for the day. Just thought I'd pass it along, I'm sure many of you already know about it. Also, I just subrscribed to bloglines. By subscribing to various blog feeds I am able to check my blogs much faster because bloglines tells me which ones have been updated. So now I'm not checking my favorite blog each day to see if they posted, bloglines does that for me. It's hard to explain, just go there, and trust me it will save you time on your blog reading. I also find myself spending measured time on blogs rather than clicking aimlessly here and there. I know some of you already use this and if you can explain it better, please do so in my comment box.

Homeschool Day At Six Flags

What makes homeschool day different from other days at Six Flags? What other day do you see more yamikas and Mennonite head coverings than baseball caps? What other day do I feel like we have a relatively small family? What day at the amusement park do you see more ankle length denim skirts than bikini clad teenagers? While we're on the topic of homeschool fashion, let me just say that I have never seen more color coordinated families in my life donning t-shirts saying things like (Bev, where's yours? :) ) Only at homeschool day would such things happen! All this to say, we had a fantastic time! We will do it again next year, Lord willing! BTW, how do you spell yamika? (hey, I wasn't homeschooled, what can I say?)

The Rock In My Kitchen

There is a rock gushing with water in my kitchen today. Actually, it is in every room of my home, in my mini van, even at Target, the library, and the doctor’s office. I was reminded of this rock reading Psalm 73 this morning. In verses 19-20 Asaph is telling a younger generation about the wickedness of their forefathers when they questioned the more-than-proven power of God to provide for them. 19 They spoke against God, saying, “Can God spread a table in the wilderness?20 He struck the rock so that water gushed out and streams overflowed. It is easy to look at the Israelites and think, “how could they…” And yet if I am honest, I struggle with the very same unbelief. Do I really believe that God has provided everything I need to live for His glory? Do I believe that God is able to change me, and my children to look more like Jesus? Do I believe that all that my heart craves can really be satisfied in Him? I say with man in Mark 9:24 “I believe, help my unbelief.” The hope for the Israelites and for me is found later in the psalm. Verse 35 says, they remembered that God was their rock. The Rock of my salvation is Jesus. Because He was struck, on the cross, living water flows to me. It cleanses me from my sin. It satisfies my thirst. I want to go there all day long. I want to bring my children there. I want to bring others I am in contact with there. God, please help me to remember the Rock gushing with living water today whether it is at a table in the wilderness, or the table in the homeschool room.

Primo Piper

If you haven't read his book, When I Don't Desire God: How To Fight For Joy, you might consider listening to a series John Piper taught on the the same subject back in April. For whatever reason I can't get the archives to pull part one, but this link is for part two. You can find the parts at Desiring God Ministries Radio in the archives section. I highly recommend this book. It is one of my all time favorite Piper books (very readable!). But, if you have small children at home, don't prefer reading, or just don't have the time to read...consider listening to these teachings online instead.

Topsy Turvy Take Two

I attempted the topsy turvy cake for Abby's surprise party yesterday. This time I didn't cover the entire cake in fondant because buttercream tastes better. But still, the fondant would have given a much smoother finish to the cake. I found a recipe for fondant that some people at the party actually liked. That makes it much less expensive to make these cakes as well. I used it for the bow and accent pieces.(Sorry the picture is fuzzy. I don't know why that happened!)

Briana's Comment

I wanted to publish the comment Briana left on my last post. It is evidence of the beautiful work of grace I have witnessed in my dear friend's life.

Laurie, Thanks for posting this. How true this is, and while my faith falters (you are well acquainted with what that looks like for me), I do stand back at times amazed at the good work God's doing in me and those around me through Judah's suffering. A while back I came across this quote from Spurgeon. It was short enough to remember, and its truth has never been more felt than in the last several days: "Happy is the suffering that loosens our grip on earth." When we came back from the opthamologist on Wednesday night and began to grow more acquainted with the intensity these last couple days were going to hold for us, I went to my book shelf and pulled out, "In Light of Eternity". It is clear that God has written eternity on our hearts. It is what we long for, and one of my prayers is that those who encounter us at Hopkins will get a taste of the longing in their own hearts for God and for Heaven by interacting with us.

Bri, we will all be praying for you. Thank you for your example to us all.

You Give And Take Away

This week Jason and I have been eyewitness observers of an extraordinary range of life experiences. Tuesday we visited our friends the Brittons who just had their first baby, a beautiful little boy named William. This Saturday we will attend the wedding of two young people from our church. On the other end of the spectrum, yesterday we went to a memorial service for a young man who died tragically last week. We also have been praying for our dear friends the Almengors who have been practically living at the hospital with their baby, Judah, due to unexpected elevated pressure on his optic nerve, causing a great deal of frustrating uncertainty as to why this is happening, and how to treat it. On the car ride between the memorial service and luncheon that followed, Jason and I were talking about the amazing fact that the joy of gifts like a child or a spouse, and the pain of severe trial like death or disease can have the same end: greater longing for God in Heaven. If we receive gifts and blessings and fall in love with the blessing itself, not looking to the hand of Love from which they come, we are more tied to this earth. Gifts are intended to increase our affection for the Giver, and thus increase our longing for Him. The ultimate blessing will be an eternity in His presence in Heaven. All of the good things we encounter here on earth are mere foretastes of what awaits us in Heaven. Pain and suffering also potentially create a longing for God. This world is fallen and full of trouble. Tragic events like the pain of losing a beloved son remind us that we are not home. We long for a better place where there will be no more tears of sorrow. We long for Heaven, not just from the relief of suffering, but for the joy of living in God’s presence. Trials and suffering wean us from this world, and help us to long for our true home: Heaven where the Prince of Glory dwells. I am well acquainted with the blessings of life. I pray that I will remember the Giver of the gift, and grow in love and longing for Him. Profound suffering is still foreign to me. Yet I know that if I live long enough, hardship will come my way. I pray I will be like Sandy and Sal Barranco, Lawrence and Briana Almengor, and so many others I have watched long for God more in the midst of suffering. May our hearts echo what we sang at Tim’s memorial service yesterday: You give and take away My heart will choose to say Lord, blessed be Your name.

Have More Courage

This little commercial is so clever, I had to pass it on. Hope you enjoy it as much as we did. (it might take a minute to get going. It's a white blank screen for a few seconds, then the video begins)

My Favorite Mother

I find myself putting her at the center of my life. I go to great lengths to see that she is comfortable and her life as easy as possible. When someone exposes her sin, I sometimes make her feel better by comparing her with others, or making an excuse for why she did what she did. I think she should be revered at times, even though she proves herself unworthy so often. Who is this mother I love most…ME, of course! I don’t want to love myself so much. Life goes spiraling out of control when I try to be at the center of it. Selfishness makes wife and motherhood a virtual impossibility. Yet I find the battle for my heart to be always raging. Many times I begin my day with prayers such as, “O God, please help me to live for You today. Help me to love Your glory more than anything else. Satisfy my soul in You that I might not look for inferior things to indulge myself with.” Then it happens. Life begins. One of the children wakes up early and my quiet time (you know, the time when I’m praying to die to myself, and live for God’s glory) gets interrupted, and immediately I am confronted with the choice between living for my favorite mother, or living for the glory of God. It is here, in the minutia of life, that I choose whom to live for everyday. Augustine said, “Every moment in every circumstance, we stand on the brink between the lure of idolatry and the delight of seeing and knowing God.” In circumstances such as, overhearing the children arguing in the basement I can either serve the idol of comfort and pretend I don’t hear anything, or see that God is in this opportunity and I (and my children) have a chance to know Him better because of it. It means that when my husband goes to play golf this afternoon, I either worship the idol of me, and make him feel he owes me something because he was gone for so long, or I find my delight in God and release him to enjoy the time with his friends. It means that choosing things that at times confront the “golden me” like doing the laundry, training the children, making my husband’s favorite dinner, can be opportunities to enjoy seeing and knowing God more. How is this possible? I know that the One who is truly at the center of the entire universe, the giver and sustainer of life, the only glorious One, came to earth in the form of a man. “and being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted Him and bestowed on Him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus, every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” Phil. 2:8-11 Because of His death on the cross, I am now set free to worship Him with my life, and love others instead of myself. Today, in the so-called minutia of life, I will stand on that brink between idolatry and the delight of seeing and knowing God. May I choose over and over to dive into that for which I was created: the joy of living for God’s glory alone.

My Mother In Law

She loved him first. She loves him deeply. She is my mother in law. I can’t say how many times I have thanked God for the faithfulness of this godly mother. Every time I see her influence in my husband’s life I truly have heart felt gratitude for Debbie Reyes. In His sovereignty, God graciously used the example and training of his mother (and father, but hey…we’re talking moms right now) to lead my husband to Christ at an early age, and train him in the way he should go. He was raised in a godly environment from birth, and claims to have been born on Saturday, in church on Sunday. His love for the church, and passion for God are the continuing legacy that started many generations ago, passed on to him by his parents. I have undoubtedly, the best husband I personally know of – don’t roll your eyes - it’s true! I attribute this to God’s grace at work through the influence of Jason’s mother. There are some things that I directly see evidence of Debbie’s influence on the leader of our home. I am grateful that Debbie taught my husband how to communicate with a woman. He never gives the one word answer or grunt as is so often portrayed in male stereotypes. He gives details, he asks questions. I know he learned this through consistent communication with his mother. I am grateful that Debbie taught my husband how to be a gentleman. He always holds the door open, and pulls out the chair. He doesn’t miss an opportunity to express gratitude for any way that I serve him. He keeps my gas tank full so that I don’t have to pump gas. He carries in the groceries if he’s around when we go shopping. He brings home flowers spontaneously, and goes antiquing with me (his love for history helps us here, but still his mother has always loved antiques). More than what she has taught Jason with regard to how to “treat a girl”, is what he has learned from her by example and training spiritually. I am grateful that: Jason is tender hearted, like his mother. Jason seeks God daily through His Word and prayer, like his mother. Jason is a servant, like his mother. Jason works hard, like his mother. Jason loves excellence, like his mother. My husband has learned much through the faithful example and training of his mother. I am blessed to be learning from her as well. How kind of God to provide another amazing example of a Titus 2 woman in my life. What a privilege it is to have lengthy conversations of great depth with my mother in law. What a blessing to observe up close her walk with the Lord. She is an amazing lady, and I am truly grateful for her. I love and respect you so much, Debbie. Happy Mother’s Day

My Mom

If you didn't catch it on Girl Talk, this is what I wrote to honor my Mom this year. This year, I don’t honor my mother for how she has served those who come behind her; I honor her for serving those who have gone before her. My mother’s world changed dramatically last year. My parents flew back and forth to Las Vegas and New Orleans many times to attend to ill parents. In April of 2005, my mother’s mom died and three days later my father’s dad died. Just four months after that, the flood in New Orleans resulted in my parents taking in my grandmother Cannon as well as my severely mentally handicapped Aunt. My mother was to be the primary caregiver for both. Yet in a whirlwind of airplanes, memorial services, floods, and hospitals my mother stayed the course of humble servant-hood. The day before my grandmother arrived I remember my mother looking shocked and numb. We were packing away her dining room in order to make room for two beds and a dresser. The table where we had so many Sunday dinners was disassembled. The beloved Turkey dishes for thanksgiving were put away. Every piece of silver and crystal was wrapped in paper and stored in the garage. My mom would tell you that she mourned the loss of part of her life that day. My mother was weak, but this positioned her to receive power from God like I have never seen demonstrated in her life. My mom fed, clothed, bathed, and cared for my 54 year old aunt with the tenderness she had for her own babies. This was amazing to behold. To compare the fear and anxiety of the day before Aunt Cathy arrived to the grace that caused my mother to truly view it as a privilege to serve this way has affected me more profoundly than my mother’s example in any other area. My mother says over and over that God did this. She takes no credit, and stands amazed at the grace in her life. Part of the means of that grace was her unwavering commitment to study God’s Word and pray, something my mother has faithfully modeled in every season of her life since her conversion. Sadly, my aunt died just months later after succumbing to a battle with pneumonia. My grandmother moved back to New Orleans recently, but has decided she will eventually live in Maryland. Even as I type my mother sits in a hospital room in New Orleans caring for my grandmother as she recovers from back surgery. My mom doesn’t know how long she will be in New Orleans, but once again God is giving her power and strength to serve her mother-in-law. My sister and I have always called my mother a steel magnolia. She is from the south, and her favorite tree is the magnolia tree. Images of magnolias are sprinkled throughout her house as a reminder of her southern heritage. They are reminders to me of my mother. In the midst of intense heat, she stays strong like a magnolia. The source of her strength is not the bloom itself, but the roots of faith that dig deep to reach the streams of living water that are her source of life. I miss you mom. Thank you for your faithful example of humble servant-hood, perseverance, and pursuit of the means of grace. Truly words will always fall short for how much I love and respect you. The Magnolia Tree For my mom on mother’s day By Laurie Reyes The Magnolia tree in New Orleans Lifted up her limbs Toward the heat of summer sun Drinking daylight in. Never do the steel blooms wither Never do they fade Even through the fearful flood Her blossoms show their grace. Her source of beauty does not lie Within her hearty flower But the root that reaches For deep waters is her power So whether the day brings blessed rain Or blazing summer heat The steel magnolia thrives and drinks From a Fountain hid beneath. Such glory does the tree display In blossom laden bower Passersby can’t help admire Strength with Beauty’s power.

My Sister

Karyn and I joke that I am her first born child. She says she still has a hard time believing that mom and dad didn't bring me home just for her. Karyn was four when I was born and pretty much, has loved me passionately from that time forward. I am grateful to be so loved! Even more than being the recipient of strong maternal love from Karyn, I am grateful for the example she is to me as a mother. It is hard to narrow down what I appreciate most about my sister as a mom, but probably the three biggest things Karyn excels in are how she enjoys her children, her laser sharp perception into their hearts, and her humble refusal to take any credit for her kids being so good. Karyn and Dan say that Sierra, 13, and Daniel, 10, are the other couple they do things with. Truly they would rather be with their kids than anyone else. From family game night to spontaneous trips to Ritas, Karyn and Dan are all about spending quality time with their children. This is not some compulsive duty that they read about in a parenting book. It is truly the result of not just loving her children, but really liking them. No one makes her laugh harder than her kids. The result is a family with extremely close family ties. Karyn, as the mother, has been the primary facilitator of the relationships this family enjoys. No one has taught me more about getting to the heart of a matter than my sister (who learned from my mother). Karyn is an astute observer of individuals. She never takes behavior at face value. From the beginning of mothering, Karyn has been diligent to discern the heart behind the issue. It is one thing to read about "shepherding a child's heart" in a book, it is another to watch it in action. I am grateful for Karyn's discernment, and counsel for my own heart as well as my children's. Probably the most important thing about Karyn as a mother is that even though she has really good kids (and believe me, they are amazing!), she always gives God glory for it, and sincerely believes it is only because He has been merciful in spite of her weakness. Now, I have just cited two strengths in Karyn's mothering, which I know are evidences of grace, but still - she appropriates this grace. She will be extremely uncomfortable being commended, because she is truly humble and counts it all grace. I want to be like her in this above all things. I want to humbly acknowledge that any success in parenting is the mercy and grace of God, not my ability to apply a few principles here and there. Thanks Karyn. I love you and am glad Mom and Dad brought me home for you!

My SILs

Two of my favorite moms are my sister-in-laws, Abby and Emily. These ladies are part of my life by their connection to my brother and my husband, but I am happy to say they are part of my life as two of my closest friends. It is a joy to watch these young moms in action. And even though I walk a little bit before them in terms of life experience, in many ways they are walking ahead of me in character as mothers especially. Emily is Jason's younger sister. She has Iris, 3 (turning four in October), and Asher who just turned 1 last March (on Emily's birthday!). I have known Emily since she was 13, and what a delight to watch her walk through various seasons of life with such grace and dignity. She is walking in motherhood similarly. When I think of Em as a mom, two evidences of grace come to mind. First, Emily enjoys her children. She is always laughing at their latest antics, and has that sparkle in her eye anytime she sees, or speaks of her kiddos. It began in the hospital with IrisÂ’s birth. I have never seen a mother so euphoric! It will remain a precious memory for me seeing Emily rejoice profoundly, not just in her new role, but in her new baby. The second evidence of grace I see in Emily is that she has maintained an outward focus during the season of life that is accompanied by a temptation to be consumed with only "me and mine". She organizes special "girls' night out" throughout the year. She plans for close friends' birthdays. When our friend Beth lived in Boston, Emily would coordinate a gathering of friends to greet her when she came back for a visit. Even just in normal conversation, Emily will focus on the other person by drawing them out and showing interest in their life, rather than make herself or her kids the centerpiece for discussion. I want to be like Emily in these things. I am grateful to God for her example. Abby is my little brother's wife, and mother to Jack, who just turned three, and Charli, who is one (just three weeks older than Asher). If I could use one defining word for Ab as a mother it would be contentment. Abby is the most content individual I have personally ever known. This results in a peace and rest of soul that is a comfort to be around. There have been numerous times when this contentment has shined through. When Jack was born, Ab had a c-section that didn't heal properly. This made recovery much longer, and yet Ab did not complain at all. She graciously embraced the season with contentment and trust in God. After Charli was born, Ab and Jim were packing a house to move in with my parents while Jim worked very long hours on their newly purchased fixer-upper. Rather than grumble and complain, Abby did what needed to be done. She was content to move in with her in-laws, and continues to wait patiently for her own house, truly with no complaint. The reason the house has taken so long to fix-up has been due to the interruption of schedule by my grandmother and aunt coming from New Orleans last fall. My brother flew down several times to either get my grandmother, work on the house, or serve in various other ways that my parents were unable, taking him away from work on his own house (which was impossible to work on during winter months due to frozen ground). Abby did not complain about this shift of plans, but was fully supportive of Jimmy putting his efforts into serving my mom and dad, grandmother and aunt. More than not demand he work on her house, more than release him to do these things, Ab herself cared heroically for my grandmother in particular while my mom was caring for Aunt Cathy. Truly I am grateful for my precious sister in law who laid aside her life to serve others, in this case not just Jimmy, Jack, and Charli, but my grandmother as well. All of this with no complaint, but with peaceful contentment. I love you little mammas! What a joy to watch and learn from you both.

Ordinary Heroes: Redefining Greatness

In light of Mother's Day I wanted to post a few things to honor some of my favorite moms. I wrote this post in January of '05, but hope it encourages all of the ladies out there who are heroically serving their families. It is an impressive group...including the likes of Elisabeth Elliot, Amy Carmichael, Elisabeth Scott Stam, and Gladys Aylward. These were the heroes of my single years. I dreamed of being like these ladies. I imagined myself in various scenarios like jungle huts, orphan asylums, ministry to other women, and maybe even writing a book to chronicle my adventures. These women made a difference in the world, an obvious difference. Echoes of their lives lived in consecration to God still ring in the hearts of many. Something happened, however, after I was married with children. My heroes changed. I don't know when exactly, but at some point I began to look around me at women in my church. Women whom I would have respected, but not thought of as "heroic". But now, now that I am doing what I am doing, and realizing how hard it is to do well, I view them differently. At the top of my list is my mother. Now I know how she laid down her life for our family each and every day for many years. My new heroes are my friend Kathleen who with three children three years old and younger, patiently cared for them day and night for years while her husband finished an advanced degree. She did it with little complaint. She did it well. Then there is my other friend Kathy who with as much savvy as any CEO creatively runs her house on a limited budget to release her husband to pursue full-time ministry even though it meant a cut in pay. There are other friends who live with chronic aches and pains, yet still do housework and care for their toddler in spite of the pain. The newest additions to my list of heroes are the homeschool moms. One of them homeschools children in high school, junior high, and elementary school, with a toddler under foot as well. Another has homeschooled long enough to graduate two children. The list of heroes is ever growing. What I find heroic about these women is that their lives are composed of hundreds of choices to either obey God and glorify Him, in the mundane, or live life for themselves. These are simple choices in most cases, but hard choices, redundant choices, and unappreciated choices. They don't make one huge grand decision that lands them in a hut in Africa, they choose to get up and make breakfast. They choose to do laundry. They choose to lovingly correct a child. They choose to give baths before bedtime, tell a story, sing a song. They choose to teach a disrespectful 15 year old who would rather go to school. They live their lives primarily for others. This is not to say that the heroes of my single years have become any less heroic. But it is to say that I now understand that even their lives that seemed so deliciously radical were composed of the mundane choices of life as well. They were able to do big things well because they faithfully did the little things well. Perhaps this is not a redefining of heroes as much as it is the redefining of heroic. To all of you ordinary heroes out there, I want you to know I think you are extraordinary! Oh how the grace of God is exquisitely displayed in your lives. I also want to remind you that even though what you do is done in complete anonymity, there is One who sees it all. How pleased He must be.

Bright Shiny Good Works

I found this post by Nicole Whitacre from Girl Talk to be extremely relevant for my life. She says,

After I’ve done a good work, I want to add it to my collection. I put it on my soul’s mantle and I polish it and step back to admire it. What a godly woman I am for doing such a good work! How nice it was to receive the thanks and appreciation of others! What a noble, self-sacrificing person I am! When I’m thinking like this, I’ve so missed the point. Good works are not an occasion for self-congratulation. They are a reason to marvel, once again, at my Savior. Only because of the blood that Jesus shed on the cross are my sins forgiven--not because of any good work I have done or will do. Only His grace motivates me to a life of good works. Only because of Christ’s mercy are my good works pleasing to the Father. Only His power sustains me for a lifetime of good works to His glory.

On this day, I pray that as I begin to walk in those good works God has ordained for me, that I will be quick to understand their source - the Savior, not me; and their purpose - His glory, not my own.

Reyes Ranch House

This week Jason and I have been watching a reality show on PBS called Texas Ranch House. The premise is taking a group of 21st century individuals, and putting them in a simulated 1867 working ranch complete with cowboys, indians, the ranch owner, and his family. Mix in 110 degree weather, scant food, and a lot of physical labor and you have a rather fascinating little show. Not surprisingly, one appeal is watching the mindset of the current culture collide with that of a previous generation. It isn't really working. The women aren't happy being on the periphery of a male-dominated society. Some of the cowboys had a hard time listening to an older ranch manager. Two people have been fired, and the husband is torn between pleasing his wife and pleasing the cowboys making him an impotent leader on both fronts. Ahhh, reality t.v. at its finest. Before yesterday's episodes came on Jason said he was thinking about how he can watch this show and view their problems the way the rest of the world might view them. For example, they would be happier if they just got rid of so-and-so. Or, if the wife would just back off of her husband, maybe he would regain the respect of some of the cowboys and they would work better for him. Basically, a change of circumstances, management style, or people would facilitate success. Jason continued to say that the thought occured to them that of course, the Gospel is the only thing that can make such a situation work out. It is always the solution to the problems at hand. Without the gospel people in any time period are doomed to fail. I got to thinking. Do you ever wonder if your life is some crazy reality show and at any minute a camera man is going to come out of the garage and a director will then inform you that this whole thing is some crazy show? I can imagine the creative team putting together the premise for my reality show: "let's take a selfish woman prone to anger and impatience, somewhat disorganized, little to no experience with children and lets give her three of her own kids in less than two years. Make them all boys. For interest, let's add number four (girl) when the others are two and three years old. Eventually we'll add in a homeschool component (that will make for great t.v.)Voila! My reality. Like every good reality show there will be all sorts of twists and turns in the plot. The unexpected "what in the world just happened?" factor. Like for example last night's episode would have been called "travesty at the ball park: a melodrama". Anyway, you get the idea. Don't get the wrong idea, though. I love my reality. I love being a wife and mother and having three little boys and girl. I love homeschooling them. Truly my life is way better than I dreamed it could be, and certainly immensely better than I could ever deserve. But there is a problem sometimes. I want to be the star of my own show here. Whether it be in the form of the villain or the hero, I often put myself at the center of my world. The truth is there is a "Divine Director" of events at the Reyes Ranch House. He has written the various circumstances I find myself in. He has written in the unexpected twists and turns. God is at the center of our reality. He is sovereignly in control of everything each day. It is for God's glory that we exist here together. And just like the people from Texas Ranch House,It is not a change of circumstances or people that will solve our problems, it is the gospel. Jesus died on the cross for our sins so that we could be forgiven, set free to love one another, and enjoy access to the Father anytime and anywhere. My prayer is that we would glorify God by seeing Him at the center of our reality, and enjoy Him in the midst of everyday life. And when we fall short, may we run quickly to the throne of grace and receive forgiveness, grace to change, and rejoice in His glory once again.

Blessed Inadequacy

I am comfortable with my ordinary-ness. But what I am not comfortable with is total inadequacy. And yet, today, like so many other days, I am faced with my inadequacy to do all that needs to get done in a way that glorifies God. I have a lot of housework to do. I have a lot of schoolwork to accomplish. I have errands to run, and a baseball game to attend. But more than these things, I have hearts to shepherd throughout the whole process: mine as well as my children's. This is what I find too difficult. I can clean. I can teach. I can even run from here to there. But can I deal with the inevitable interruptions, sinful attitudes, and relational conflict that are sure to accompany life today? And yet, here in the moments when I feel my inability to do the very life God has ordained for me, is where I can either look at myself and be discouraged, or look to God and have faith. Today, like so many other days, I am faced with my inadequacy, but I am turning my face away from me to my heavenly Father. He is generous with the abundance of grace at His disposal. This grace includes pardon for the sins that I will commit. And this grace includes strength to do the work He has called me to. I can bring my children to Him to do the same. It is God who will work in me to will and to do for His good pleasure. Father, help me to be grateful for the circumstances of life that keep me closer to reality about myself. My pride makes me want to be competent and capable in everything. But in your kindness you expose my weakness, not to discourage me, but to humble me and to show forth Your power which is made perfect in my weakness.

2 Peter 1:3 His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence

My Friends, The Mahaneys

It was my Monday morning at Panera (a tradition my husband wisely implemented when my children were younger, to provide consistent time to be refreshed and re-envisioned for my life) and I brought with me a treasured friend, the book Humility, True Greatness, by C.J. Mahaney. It occurred to me while I was re-reading the first two chapters of this book, how often the Mahaneys have accompanied me to Panera via books and teachings. In fact, apart from my parents, I can’t think of any other individuals who have impacted my way of thinking and living more than C.J. and Carolyn Mahaney. Phrases like “The Cross”, “Evidences of Grace”, “Extravagant Devotion to the Savior”, “The Main Thing”, have become not just part of my vocabulary, but part of how I aim to live my life. These are words C.J. has provided to encapsulate profound concepts in scripture that would otherwise escape me in their significance. For example, through his teaching on the cross (as well as his book The Cross Centered Life) I have been provoked to view the cross as not only something done for me, but as something done by me. This was revelational because I have been mostly raised in the church my entire life and could have easily gone through life thinking erroneously, “I’m not that bad.” What riches of grace I have discovered in understanding the Cross better, truly I can’t express it here. I will never forget the first time I heard Carolyn’s teachings on Titus 2. It truly shapes the way I aim to pursue biblical womanhood. What a transforming effect hearing these teachings from a grace motivated perspective has had on my life. I still use them constantly as a compass to keep me on course for what I am to be about as a Christian wife, mother, and homemaker. I have listened to these teachings so many times I can predict when a baby is going to fuss in the congregation. I am a devoted reader of the Girl Talk blog, and I love the fact that this faithful mother has lived what she has taught, and the evidence can be read almost daily through the wisdom her daughters inherited from her. This isn’t an exercise in praising man. It is an expression of my gratitude to God for the means of grace He has provided me and countless others through the ministry of one couple devoted to His purposes and His glory. And also if you've never been blessed to read, or listen to teaching by the Mahaneys, allow me to introduce you. Any of the links will bring you to the resources that have impacted my life and the lives of many others. By the way, Jason got the idea of sending me to Panera Bread every Monday from…the Mahaneys, of course!